To Ice Lion

Dear Leon,

During our past weekend together, I was overwhelmed by the feeling that time is so short. When something is ending, suddenly everything feels so precious.

I love your unique resilience and stability. I love how you never see anything as a problem, really. You just figure out a way to move forward without making a fuss. I love how especially gentle, thoughtful, trustworthy, reliable, smart, patient, loyal, and kind you are. I love your smiles and little giggles. I admire your ability to be genuinely, uncomplicatedly content with life.

I’m thankful that you always treated me with gentle care and affection. You never pressured me in any way, for anything. You showed your love often in the ways you knew best. You did a thousand big and little things for me that made my life easier, without me needing to ask. You remembered the things I forgot. You made me feel heard. You never made me feel like a burden, and true to your promise at the very beginning, you were just there for me, like always. You may not have understood enough of me, but you unconditionally accepted all of me anyway.

Every moment I spent with you was worth it, and I could not have done anything differently as the person I was back then. I believe that’s true for you, too.

Thank you for the letter. I’m happy to read that you felt better after choosing to be a little vulnerable and uncomfortable. I begrudgingly admitted to myself last year that inviting a little discomfort into my life is necessary to grow. I hope that you continue to find the courage to express yourself more and more, too.

You finally honestly told me why you loved me. Did you realize that the words you held onto so tightly for four years were surprisingly simple? I would’ve loved to hear them a long time ago. I wanted to hear a lot of simple but important things from you. Words capture my imagination, and that is the way to my heart.

I didn’t even realize how heavy my thoughts had been until I finally let them go. Now that I know what I know, I can’t turn back. I need to fly forward and learn how to embrace myself. I no longer seek your understanding; the years for that have past. You asked if we could be friends again, and I would really like to be… but not yet.

We tend to live like we have time. But life is unpredictable, and no minute is guaranteed. We both have to learn to let ourselves be a little more afraid, and express ourselves even more gently and openly with our loved ones. Let’s smile more, and laugh more, and share our vulnerable but resilient hearts with those who deserve it.

No matter what happens, you’ll always be a very important person in my life, too. I’ll be here for you, no matter how much we change and how different our lives become. There’s a permanent space in my heart where I’ll think of you with great fondness, love, and affection.

Love,
Danielle